Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Here are a few holiday eating tips that I am thinking of incorporating into my holidays this year . . .

1. AVOID CARROT STICKS. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. DRINK AS MUCH EGGNOG AS YOU CAN. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Better still have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. IF SOMETHING COMES WITH GRAVY, USE IT. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. AS FOR MASHED POTATOES, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. DO NOT HAVE A SNACK BEFORE GOING TO A PARTY in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. HELLO!!!

6. IF YOU COME ACROSS SOMETHING REALLY GOOD AT A BUFFET TABLE, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

7. SAME FOR PIES. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two applies and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one essert? Labor Day?

8. DID SOMEONE MENTION FRUITCAKE? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid store-bought fruitcake at all cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

I have every intention of leaving this world with chocolate in one hand, a martini in the other and screaming "WOO HOO WHAT A RIDE!"

Oh, and speaking of MARTINIS, there is a new short term knitting swap (ends January 31st) starting up called the "DIRTY KNITTER" (dirty is what they call martini's I've been told) . . . if you are interested in joining check out this site: . . . you must join before Friday, December 15th (she did say that when she matches people up they will be given the "dirty knitter" blog site address) . . . email her ( the following info:
your name; your mailing address; your blog address and blog name; your preferred email contact; do you have allergies; are you 21 . . . apparently you do not have to drink but you do have to knit . . .

So that's all for now . . . till later ladybug kisses . . .


Knittymama said...

No carrot sticks...I love it! :-)

Diane said...

Carrot sticks are just for loading with dip and nothing more. Same with celery. If they are put out with no dip or low fat dip then there's a problem.

Loved your tips.